holy cats, i can hardly believe it’s the end of april already! how did we get here so fast?

i am excited that we are moving into the heart of spring, though. our trees are budding and our plants are starting to emerge. the sun is coming around a bit more and this past weekend it felt like summer.

A sneak peek into my Patreon exclusive content:

Springtime, when everything feels like it’s coming back to life, sprouting, growing, blooming. Transitioning.

i had an amazing gene keys reading with karen a few weeks ago that really blew my fucking mind. i’ve been using a few pieces of it for direct prescriptive exercises to build a deeper connection with myself (and others)…

this year i’m working on opening my heart space and sharing more of my life journey in hopes to foster more connection and inspire others along their journey.

in the spirit of all that, i’m going to get into a little story time about [part of] the reason why i made my adhd dashboard. if you’re interested in what brought me here, read on...

I had the absolute pleasure of being a guest on Erica’s podcast, Airdrops!

We talk about:

- the permission slips I’ve gained through human design

- how minimalism has helped me to know myself better

- the Energy Experiment framework I came up with to help with disorganization & my ADHD brain in the physical world

- how having ADHD impacts & informs facets of my life

- how I tune into my intuition

- how I maintain a healthy & conscious relationship with my partner of 10+ years

- acceptance in the challenging moments of seasonal change (heading into winter)

i had an unexpected run-in with grief the other day. i guess maybe that's the nature of it or any other heavy emotion, they hit when you're least expecting... and then what do you do?

Is the time change affecting you at all? It seems to be really messing with my finely-tuned system this year. In lieu of that and many other transitions happening right now, I'm going to leave you with a little journaling brain dump. Raw and unedited. And I feel it's exactly as it wants to be put out into the world. And if you're in need of some love, grace, and compassion, hopefully this will send some your way.

So I started looking at every terrible ball I hit as just practice, and practice makes better. I learned from all the awful shots I hit, and each time, I picked up a little more... concepts made more sense in my head, my body felt more comfortable swinging the racket, I started to feel like things were making sense. And most of all, I was focusing on having fun with my partner, instead of focusing on feeling like a shitty tennis player.

I'm feeling tired this week. And also amped, revved, and ready to go. Holding both ends of the spectrum. I'm exploring treatment for an ADHD diagnosis, which isn't new... I was diagnosed over 10 years ago but largely attempted to ignore it for all these years.

I usually have a hard time with this change of seasons. The days get colder, darker. Seasonal depression starts to set in. I'm working on practicing grace and self-compassion (as always), honoring my feelings, and exploring what it would be like to not resist this change in seasons. What if I welcomed it?

How is your heart these days? tbh, my chest has been full of anxiety. I've been riding the waves of grief as my last grandparent passed away this month. At the same time, we welcomed in a new baby on my partner's side of the family. Of course, on top of it all are all of the worldly stresses we're dealing with right now like covid.

I've always wanted to video journal; vlog, if you will. I've tried to do it multiple times in the past, but never stuck with it. Part of what held me back was perfectionism. Feeling I had to do it a certain way or it wasn't going to be good enough, therefore it wasn't worth my time to do it at all.

Something lit up inside of me the other day as I was journaling. I had one of those ah-ha moments. I was thinking about the concept of being an "independent womxn." Something I've been striving for my whole life. To be able to take care of myself. But something about it just doesn't feel right. I think it's because I feel the need to prove I am independent. It's something societally programmed onto me to think I need to achieve.

I want to relish in the moment, live here in the present, in these moments where I am proud of myself, and celebrate! So that got me thinking... what does a self-celebration even look like?

My doctor at my therapist's office asked me three things I was proud of today. I laughed nervously. Three?! You want three?? I think I can come up with one but do you really need two more? She said yes- that she'd barely been talking to me for 15 minutes and could already list 5 things I could mention. I'm thinking heck, why is this so hard? Why can't I see these things in myself that other people can?

I see now I am whole, with my problems. My problems are part of me, they're part of my life journey. And some of my problems include experiencing chronic pain.

Today I invite you to get curious and take a little deep dive into yourself and imagine your life if you didn't feel like you had to impress anyone.

Go ahead, ask yourself,

What if... I didn't feel like I had to impress anyone?

This week I'm talking about my favorite crystals at the moment; the ones that are hanging out on my desk right now and the different reasons I use them. Click to watch the full video on YouTube!

I tend to ruminate. I go over and over the same situation. Again and again. Analyzing my actions and words. Sure, this is ok to do maybe once, so I can pick out any lessons learned to take with me into the rest of my life... but the part where I keep mentally beating myself up repeatedly AFTER I've already realized the lessons, is the unhealthy part that is not serving me or my highest good.

I'm leaning into bringing "play" into the equation. What if we looked at everything we do as play? What the heck does that even mean? Play is doing something out of enjoyment, for no defined goal or outcome. Play is full of imagination, creativity, spontaneity, experimentation, discovery, and learning.