How tennis has impacted my self-compassion
I realized something this past weekend while I was practicing tennis. Now, I'm still at the point in my tennis journey where I don't even know what it means to play a tennis match, I'm just trying to figure out how to consciously hit the ball and hopefully it goes somewhere in the general direction of inside the court.
I was noticing how much I was laughing as my partner and I were practicing. And I remembered back to the very beginning, when I used to feel angry and upset and frustrated with myself when I wasn't a professional tennis player right from the start. I had a lot of negative self talk going on in my head. It felt so hard to be a beginner at something... I wanted to just be good right away. I had to have some serious talks with myself; that it's ok to be a beginner, to remember I love learning new things, and learning new things comes with making new mistakes. And tbh, I already understand how much better I learn things from making a mistake (I do have a degree in math- and I've learned from experience that fucking up math problems is the best way to learn how to do them). But still, it's hard to shove away all the perfectionist tendencies. It takes work, it takes practice.
So I started looking at every terrible ball I hit as just practice, and practice makes better. I learned from all the awful shots I hit, and each time, I picked up a little more... concepts made more sense in my head, my body felt more comfortable swinging the racket, I started to feel like things were making sense. And most of all, I was focusing on having fun with my partner, instead of focusing on feeling like a shitty tennis player.
It almost startled me to find that I was laughing at each shot I missed or ball that I blasted into oblivion. I was genuinely having a really great time, when I hit a fantastic shot, AND when I didn't. I realized, hot dang, this is what real joy feels like! I'm having a blast.
And don't get me wrong, I still swear at a lot of my shots and may feel upset for a second. So I also started up a fun way to interact with my anger... instead of using a beloved swear word, I pick a silly one to shout instead. My go-to is "cake." Trust me, picturing cake in my head every time I hit a lousy ball is much more appealing than "shit." Now I can leave the court surrounded by a bunch of cake instead of a pile of shit. 💩🍰😂
This whole self-compassion thing takes practice, and what better way to do it than by picking up a new hobby and starting from the beginning!
How are you practicing self-compassion these days? 🖤
