recognizing my strengths in relationships & accepting my needs
As someone with chronic pain and mental health conditions (and financial scarcity, and, and, and, honestly I could make this list go on and on), I’ve often felt like I unfairly need tending to, taking care of, saving, rescuing. That I’m too much of a burden on my partner or friends. That I need too much. I am too much. I’m waiting for them to leave me because, one day, it’ll all just be too much for them and they won’t want to have to deal with it any longer.
Today I challenged that belief. Because I don’t need rescuing or saving. There are things I do need. And that’s ok. Everyone needs something.
AND everyone brings something unique to the table. That means I do, too. I have skills and talents, and hell, I’m me. I’m likable just because of the wild mix of everything about me. And as much as I need certain things in relationships, those other people do, too.
They’re looking to get their own needs met and I’m able to help them have those needs fulfilled. They wouldn’t be hanging out with me if they weren’t also receiving the kind of love they need.
So it’s time for me to recognize and realize what I bring to the table, what I offer. That these relationships are two way streets.
I don’t have to play small and shrink and feel bad about my needs. I don’t have to beat myself up over this stuff. I can, instead, remind myself of all my attributes that I contribute to the relationship. And that this is a partnership between us two. It’s not a singular me, taking from them. It’s both of us, together. Sharing.
And it’s likely never going to be a 50/50 completely even split. People need different things in different ways. And as long as everyone is on the same page with getting their needs met, then whatever the split is, is fine.
I guess the moral of the story here is that I can stand up for my needs, I’m not too much, and I’m not taking too much from others. I’m practicing recognizing my attributes- what I bring to relationships. And celebrating those things as valid important pieces to the relationship. Celebrating the communion in my relationships.
✨ I invite you to contemplate this within your own life & if you’re up for sharing, please comment - I’d love to hear about it!
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